These trips involved a dive deep into the history of the Czech Republic, a history that goes back almost two thousand years, to the age of the Roman Empire. At that point in time, the area that is now the Czech Republic was ruled by a Celtic trip called the Boii, from which the medieval name of the Czech Republic, Bohemia, is derived. The Boii were never actually conquered by the Romans, and it would not be until the coming of the Slavs in the 8th century, driven by the Magyars(my ancestors?), that someone else would take over the area. The Slavs formed the State of Great Moravia, more on that later, and ruled area until it became part of the Holy Roman Empire(aka the Empire of Charlemagne)in the 9th century, and was converted to Christianity though the efforts of the Patron Saint of the Czechs, one of the great heroes of their history, St. Wenceslaus(feel free to sing a verse from the Christmas Carol at this point, it is that Wenceslaus, I will wait). As part of the Holy Roman Empire, the Czech people would find themselves in competition with the Germans. Despite this, one of the other great heroes of Czech History is one of the Holy Roman Emperors, Charles IV, how in the 12th century made his capital in Prague, specifically Prague Castle, and helped to create and beautify the area. As the centuries wore one, the Czech grew increasingly restive under the Empire. In 1618, as every person who describes Czech history is proud to tell us, the Czechs defenestrated three Catholic priests sent by the Holy Roman Empire from Prague Castle(let me tell you, it’s a long way down). This event sparked the Thirty Years War, a event which devastated the Czechs, and turned them into good Catholics, at least for two hundred years. In the 1880s, the idea of Czech Nationalism began to reassert itself. This idea would reach fruition in 1918, following the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian Empire (Successor to the Holy Roman Empire) in the form of Czechoslovakia, lead by Mr. Masary from whom my dorm gets its name. After World War II, and the betrayal of Munich, the Czech Republic fell under the dominance of the Soviet Empire. Following a coup in 1948, all castles in the Czech Republic were placed under the control of the government. Following the restoration of Democracy, the Castles were returned to their owners, though not without strings(no titles, and they were required to live in the Czech Republic).
The first two castles I visited had been constructed by the Lobkowitz family(yes that’s spelled right). The Lobkowitz family was a fairly important noble family in the service of the Holy Roman Emperor, to prove it they hung pictures of the Emperors in their castles (yes that’s castles plural). The two castles we visited were called Nelahozeves, and Melnik. Neither was what might be typically characterized as a castle, a better translation from what I’m sure is a Czech word with too few vowels, would be chateau. Now, these chateaus certainly weren’t Versailles (not that I’ve been there) but they were quite impressive. From armory at Nelahozeves you could arm the entire village that surrounds it, and Melnik is home to a wine cellar that is apparently world renown. Indeed, we got to try what was essentially a shot of some of the Lobkowitz wine, a red and a white.(the White was better but both were pretty decent, and that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)
But the Lobkowitz palaces were missing something,(other than heating, which would explain why the temperature was only a few degrees above 0 Centigrade in both). They just weren’t castlely enough, and certainly they didn’t have enough churches, which Kutna Hora, on the second day certainly took care of. The first stop on that trip was to Cesky Stanburg, a castle built by the Czechs to keep out those pesky Germans, and it certainly looks that way, though the inviting lady with the Sausages and mulled wine certainly detracted from the atmosphere. Filled with sausages, and wine (not me, but some) we head off to the actual town of Kutna Hora. Kutna Hora is a UNESCO site located about an hour away from Prague. It was a town that was split between the Germans and the Czechs as a result of the prescience of the Imperial Mint and Silver mine there. As a result, like many European towns, the city is overrun with churches, and I swear to…well god…that are tour guide stopped and talked in front of each and every one of them, for ten minutes, in 0 degree weather, with snowballs flying through the air. And to top it all off, we nearly managed to miss what was undoubtedly the highlight of the trip to Kutna Hora, The Bone Church(italised so you will understand I am speaking in a spooky voice). Unlike all those other churches, with their alters made of marble, or wood, or gold, the Bone Church is made of well…bone….human bone….40,000 human bones arranged in a variety of shapes and figures, pyramids, crosses, chandeliers, which you know…after a couple of minutes starts to feel like something Genghis Khan or Stalin would be proud of…words don’t really do it justice, so I will attach a picture or two at this point….
Alright, did you enjoy the pretty pictures of bones…good. After we finished touring castles, and bone churches we were kind of tired, and so wandered down to the circle near the dorm, which is packed with shops, and yet another KFC(I swear to god if the darned things keep popping up I may actually have to eat in one). We found a nice little pizza joint(see my comment on how those are everywhere here too), which was across the street from the grocery store. And here of course is where I managed to get myself into a spot of trouble. After the second we(here being used to refer to a whole group of people including myself, Jake, Adrian, Allie and Ian) realized that it would be cheaper to buy breakfast food from the grocery store, rather than from the small cafeteria in the dorm. So decided we headed into the grocery store and split up. I found butter, and bread no problem, got them checked out, no problem…and then I found a bag of grapes…which being the big dumb lovable American that I am, I grabbed, and did not weight…see were this is going yet?
I went up to the cash register, happy as you please, put down my items, and everything seemed to be going fine, and then she(the lady at the cash register) got to the grapes, and said something in Czech, something that was not, "all done here’s how much it costs". Czech's great language by the way, a nice language, I think the maybe the vowels caught the constants cheating on them with the accents, and have since refused to associate with either of them, but a great language never the less, except when someone is pointing and trying to tell you to do something, and all you can think to say is “wha…?” and then when you think you figure it out, and go over to the machine that looks like a scale, and can’t for the life of you figure out how to make it work because its labeled in a language with too few vowels, and then the seemingly irate Czech lady has to point you to another scale thing(I swear to god I don’t know why they had two, or what the first one was for) your respect for a language starts to diminish a little bit…or a lot. Anyway, I finally managed to buy bread, and run home with my tail firmly between my legs, put the bread in the fridge, and sought solace in beer(actually not, but it has a nice poetic ring to it, I think I actually just sort of read a book or watched Stargate, and slept) and it was night, and it was good.
Next: Prague Part 3: On Historic Prague and “Family” Dinner
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